I have only good things to say about my family doctor. I am immensely grateful to even have a family doctor as it seems they’re a dying breed, so I regularly give thanks for my youthful, kind and empathetic doctor. I’ve been seeing her for close to a decade now, and she has my entire case history on file which is a big deal, when your file is quite as large as mine is getting. While you are always guaranteed a long delay when entering her waiting room, you are equally guaranteed that she’ll take all the time in the world with you once you enter her office as a patient.
Yesterday I was getting quite worried about my state of health and briefly considered going to the ER to get looked at, which I am loath to do. I’m not going to go into the state of our medical system here. It’s free. You get what you pay for. Enough said. Having learned that nausea, dizziness and inability to eat are keywords that seem to shorten waiting times, I decided to take a chance and see if my family doctor might be able to squeeze me in, which she did.
I schlepped myself over there, by taxi mind you, because any other alternative given my state would have been plain foolish. I waited the required hour past my scheduled appointment before seeing my doctor, as usual. When I saw her, she looked me over, took my blood pressure (which is excellent), made me cough, made me touch my nose and walk in a straight line and look left right up down and such. We talked. We talked some more. And after a while of this I said: “Look, what can I tell my mother? She’s worried about me. Is there something I can tell her is the matter with me so that I can go about trying to get better?”. She sort of looked at me with a question mark on her face. “I can give you a consult to see a specialist” she said “or you can go to the ER where they can run tests on you if this hasn’t cleared up in a few days”. I thanked her for her time. I made my way home. Another cab fare.
When I got home I picked up the phone and called my pharmacist. “Oh well yes,” he says, if you stopped taking your medication* when the migraine started that would have made the migraine worse. And some of the medications you take cause slight nausea and dizziness, which would have made both the nausea and dizziness worse when you stopped taking them [of course!]. I’ll send you some Gravol, just start taking your meds again as usual, the symptoms might get a little bit worse for a couple of days but then you’ll be all better after that.”
How scary is it that my pharmacist knows more about my state of health than my family doctor does? That just can’t be right.
*I didn’t so much stop as lost track of time since I was sleeping constantly. One day turned into two, etc...
January 31, 2008
Consultations
January 30, 2008
Quote of the Day
“Take care of your body with steadfast fidelity.
The soul must see through these eyes alone, and if they
are dim, the whole world is clouded.”
~ Goethe
January 29, 2008
Hangin' in there... sorta.
I’m trying very hard to be a part of this blogging community through this period of... discomfort, but it ain’t easy let me tell you. I’ve surfed around a little bit... not too fast because it makes me dizzy, and then when comes time to comment... I just can’t come up with anything to say. Mostly I can’t come up with anything to say because I’m doing all I can to hold back the nausea that has replaced the migraine. Mind you, if I were to pick between the two... well I wouldn’t pick either of them, obviously. Sheesh.
This model is defective. Can we please get a new model over here? Oh they’re not replacing '69 models anymore? Figures.
Coming to
Ok. So after having gotten up and then gone straight for a precautionary two hour nap again, I seem to feel a connection to that thing on top of my neck and I think, if everything’s gone well, that I may even have my very own head screwed back into place. Has it ever happened to you to wake up and have someone else’s head screwed onto your neck? It’s a bitch, I promise you. So... sorry y’all if I’ve caused you any worry and to you in particular Lee because I know how frustrating it must be to be hearing about my aches and pains from a distance and not be able to do a damn thing about it, but the good news is even if you had been here, you wouldn’t have been able to do a damn thing about it either.
Right now I could sure use some homemade soup though because four days of watered down orange juice does not a strong woman make. I think I mostly feel dizzy from having been in a prone position for that long. And dreams! Who wants to be dreaming when there’s a migraine going on I ask you? Wasn’t my head wonky enough as it was? I needed dreams on top of it all? And no, no worries, I won’t submit you to the torture of detailing my dreams to you, especially since, as dreams go, they made no sense at all. One thing I remember though is I was trying to fly but couldn’t stay in the air for long because my stupid migraine kept bringing me down. Figures.
I would like to give props to my little friend Fritz over here who was a gem and made sure to lie on top of me for most of the duration. A little angel with whiskers on he is that one.
Sorry for the boring post, but at this point I’m just so excited to even be able to type this much without major pain ensuing that I can’t seem to stop myself.
Ouch. I do still have a headache though. But then who wouldn’t have a headache after sleeping for four days? I think I have a box of matzoh ball soup mix somewhere back there. Just what the doctor ordered.
January 28, 2008
Day 4
I’ve been sleeping as best I could since yesterday afternoon trying to escape the migraine, which has kindly decided to stay with me for another day. Got all your encouraging comments — thank you so much. It’s probably not a good ideas for me to be sitting in front of the computer at all (sitting here with my sunglasses again!) so I hope you understand if I don’t answer your comments individually as I usually like to do.
This is another of the photos I took last week. All my photos are making me nauseous to look at for some reason, and this one wasn’t making me too queasy, so this is the one I’m going with. Now if only I could actually be looking at books to pass the time...
January 27, 2008
2 images
I took more photos this week but this is all I can manage to post for now. It’s tortuous sitting in front of the computer today. Every click of the mouse feels like infernal pounding in my head and I keep thinking the sound it’s making is wrong somehow. That’s a sure sign I need to go lie down.
Pics by me, obviously.
It’s all in my head
Moi in Bad Hofgastein, Austria, 1981.
It’s one of those days. Do you ever get days when the second you get up you just want to go right back to bed again? I’ve been looking forward to getting up to blog lately, but it might not be the best idea for me today. Pmousse’s latest post is about migraines and when I read it a couple of nights ago, I was just starting a migraine of my own and I left one of those looooong comments that would have been best kept as a post for my own blog instead.
I was relating my own experiences with migraines the first of which occurred when I was 12. Lee and I were living in Israel at the time, and since we were both missing the snow decided to take a winter vacation. We went to Bad Hofgastein, Austria. Famous for it’s thermal baths, it was one of those enchanted picture perfect locations combining impressive scenic mountain ranges with a quaint village nestled down below. I finally took downhill skiing lessons, which was a dream come true for me. But I think the combination of the altitude and cold air combined with the sheer excitement of it all was what caused it. All I can clearly remember from that day is standing in line at the main lodge. It was lunchtime, but I was feeling nauseous and only wanted a hot chocolate but somehow, I wasn’t able to say the words “hot chocolate”. I could barely talk at all since I had suddenly forgotten the names for everything. I think that part upset me more than the pain and discomfort of it, and when I started to cry, one of the adults from my group offered to help.
Some years later, when I was 20 or 21 and a struggling student, I got a migraine which stayed with me for a whole month, night and day. Of course there was nothing to do but wait it out. All that sustained pain launched me into one of many serious depressions in my life. If I were given the choice between a migraine like that and a depression, I think I’d pick the depression. It’s an absurd thing to say, but there you have it.
My doctors weren’t forthcoming about offering treatment for the migraines over the years. For one thing, they kept insisting it was probably “just” headaches. On my part, since I had “just” headaches so frequently, it had become the norm for my head to hurt so much. so often times I didn’t realize that the migraine was the cause for whatever discomfort I was feeling. And so for years I didn’t make it a special point of seeking proper treatment.
Finally my psychiatrist suggested that I go see a neurologist a few months ago and she gave me a consultation slip for one of the best neurologists in Montreal who confirmed that I had been suffering from chronic migraines all along. I can’t say I was thrilled at the diagnostic, but at least it means that I can give myself a break and stop telling myself that my pain “is all in my head”. Because yes, it is actually “in my head’, but it certainly is no figment of my imagination. As far as treatment, there aren’t a great many options for me since many of the meds available can cause depression as a possible side-effect. So I take preventative pills. And keep my fingers crossed. And wear my sunglasses to write my blog posts.
Pic by Lee.
January 26, 2008
Artist Quote of the Day
Art must make you laugh a little and make you a
little afraid. Anything as long as it doesn’t bore.
~ Jean Dubuffet
January 25, 2008
(re)Discovering the 2nd Dimension
Contrary to what you might be thinking, these are not images of yet another crop circle hoax. This is what is known as a 2D barcode which has been mown into a wheat field for a special project called “Hello, World!”. 2-dimensional barcodes, often referred to as “QR code” have become ubiquitous in Japan and are also used in Europe. QR code (“QR” for Quick Response) was developed in 1994 by a Japanese company to replace traditional barcodes. Since they can store much more information and aren’t limited to numerals, many different applications for this new breed of barcode have become possible.
Beyond the supermarket checkout line, 2D codes can transmit web site addresses, text messages or physical coordinates, for example. Anyone can print up their own QR code for free, and all that is needed to decipher it is a camera phone. You just point, click, and software which comes in pre-installed in some phones (or can be downloaded without charge) decodes the message instantly. Here’s a Japanese commercial to demonstrate:
And here is McDonald’s take on QR code:
Although the original black and white code is still a standard, the next generations of colour codes can carry yet more information. The first 12 stanzas of the poem “The Walrus and The Carpenter” by Lewis Carroll, are encoded in the example to the left, which is about 2300 characters. With dozens of designs presently offered on the market in black & white and colour, there is no consensus in sight on what the standard will become. A blog called 2d Code monitors all the latest developments of this rapidly evolving technology and invites readers to participate. What truly attracted me to this topic, beyond the practical applications of this technology is the code itself, which I find graphically interesting. Here are other samples I’ve collected:
Creative uses. In their latest video for the song “Integral”, the Pet Shop Boys used QR code to reinforce the theme of the song — a commentary on the erosion of civil liberties. In the video, there are over 100 single frames of QR code which can be captured by pausing the clip. This instantly connects the viewer to various sites, online news articles and forums featuring campaigns for freedom and civil liberty.
Personally, I’m divided as to what to think about this technology. In a way, I see this code as a convenient way to transmit information that could just as easily be taken down with (gasp!) pen and paper. In another sense I am attracted to technology which allows for multiple layers of information to be conveyed in a creative way, as in the Pet Shop Boys video and I’m sure the possibilities could be further explored. And then of course, having been thoroughly schooled in the horrors of the second world war and with visions of 1984 on my brain, I couldn’t help but think it wouldn’t be very difficult to tattoo or implant those codes into individuals to better track movements and habits... But then that’s me being paranoid and people had similar arguments about the original barcodes. So who knows?
With thanks to Kevin Kelly's Lifestream
Freezing: Siberian, arctic, biting, bitter, chilly, cutting, frigid, frost-bound, frosty, gelid, glacial, icy, nippy, numbing, polar, raw, snappy...
This is Winterland
Chilled to the bone, teeth clatter
Dreaming of white sand
~
Oh man is it ever cold. I actually look forward to going to bed because of the extra insulation provided by the blankets. I keep having to stop typing so I can blow on my hands and rub them together for I fear they might get frostbitten. It’s not like I’m writing this from the great outdoors and it’s not like I’m cutting back on heating either. It’s just that the cold is coming in through every single crevasse in my apartment, and there are many; what with two balcony doors, skylight, windows that aren't properly insulated and holes where there should be none. But I have never, in all eight years of living here, felt cold like this. I’m already wearing a few layers and thick socks, and it’s still not enough. I considered wearing my coat, and then I thought: perhaps I should check the weather for a change, as I hardly ever do? And this is what I found:
That’s approx -2 F. And it’s only going to get colder. It’s official. I hate winter.
January 24, 2008
Thirteen Interesting Ways to Find Me [#10]
When I saw lists of strange search terms people use to find blogs — the latest of which I saw on Amuirin’s blog recently — I was bemoaning the fact that the search terms which land people on my blog were nothing to write home about. Well it seems someone was listening. Here are the top 13 most interesting search terms used this week to find my blog:
- Madonnas book about having sex with animals
- New Zealand Mail Order Brides
- Emotions that come from “authority forgets a dying king”
- Ladies and gents open sex
- How to say condemned in sign language
- Russian wife won't have sex
- Pictures that make you dizzy
- You intrigue me
- Motivational fortune cookie images
- I’m not messy I’m visually challenged
- Orthodox Jewish Woman athletics clothing
- Recordings of robots begging for their life
- utube + indian servant sex
Robot Sculptures: Clayton Bailey
The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!
View More Thursday Thirteen Participants
January 23, 2008
Quote of the Day
“Some people never go crazy,
what truly horrible lives they must live”
~ Charles Bukowski
And The Award Goes To...
I think I’ve done quite enough deliberating on the matter of who to pass on the Excellent Blog Award to. I’ve been quite amazed to see how many of you offered helpful suggestion instead of just telling me to get a life, which you would have been absolutely in your right to do — but I knew I could count on your understanding and loving support.
Here is a recap of how this all played out in the comments section following my original post:
And I say... you were all brilliant. And while I was tempted to give the award to the entire planet so that humans, animals, minerals and vegetables could all bask in the glory or this prize, I’ve decided that all you commenters absolutely deserve this award because I said so (and it’s also simpler to co-ordinate). As a BONUS I hereby liberate you from any further obligation regarding this award. Just enjoy it, keep it all to yourselves and be happy, be merry and have a toast on me. And I hope you all realized I was exaggerating a wee bit and I was more or less spoofing myself right? I mean, I was having a hard time making a decision and I am a wee bit neurotic but it was never really quite that bad because I was more or less making fun of myself and...
Time for my nap now.
Enjoy :-)
January 22, 2008
Quote of the Day
“The ability to simplify means to eliminate
the unnecessary so that the necessary may speak.”
~Hans Hofmann, Abstract expressionist painter
oil on canvas
National Gallery
of Australia
Bent Objects Update
For those of you who haven’t gone back to the Wired! feature since the original publication, I thought I’d post a short announcement here. Thanks to Lori Witzel for providing me with the name of the artist of these brilliant creations — Terry Border. You can view more of his work at http://bentobjects.blogspot.com How cool is that?
January 21, 2008
Black dogs seek good homes
We are guessing that the general public is not aware of how doomed black dogs are when they are brought to a pound because black dogs, particularly black labs or lab mixes, are euthanized at a horrifying rate at many pounds & shelters because people pass them up for lighter colored dogs. If you are thinking about adopting a dog please don’t overlook black dogs because they are just as loving & wonderful as lighter colored dogs!” Martin County Animal Shelter, Fairmont,MNI originally found out about this problem through Kelly Klein from The Write Life, who mentioned this site which is run by a woman who is trying to increase awareness about this situation to help reverse the prejudices one person at a time. The reasons for why people are not adopting big black dogs range from superstitions and fear, to the fact that black dogs don’t photograph as well and all too often go unnoticed in the shelters which more often than not have poor lighting.
A couple of solutions proposed by the Black Dog Syndrome site are to encourage anyone thinking of getting a dog to consider adopting a black dog from a shelter. Even just talking about this phenomena to just a couple of people will help increase awareness, which could mean a big difference to the lives of countless black dogs out there.
Photo by Ben, Flickr
January 20, 2008
A Terrible Dilemma
usage: Although some commentators insist that dilemma be restricted to instances in which the alternatives to be chosen are equally unsatisfactory, their concern is misplaced; the unsatisfactoriness of the options is usually a matter of how the author presents them. What is distressing or painful about a dilemma is having to make a choice one does not want to make.” — m-w.com
Project Mommy, who started this whole thing says: “… By accepting this Excellent Blog Award, you have to award it to 10 more people whose blogs you find Excellent Award worthy. You can give it to as many people as you want but please award at least 10.” But now, since I just nominated ten of my favorite bloggers for A Roar For Powerful Words, I’m left in a most awkward position; do I award it to 10+ other bloggers, even though I think the ten who got the other award also deserve this one? Then do I award the ten previous nominees plus ten other deserving bloggers but then create an imbalance because some people will have received two awards and some just one? And then what about those that’ll be left out? Does that mean I should give awards to everybody I know to be sure no-one feels left out? But then doesn’t that render the whole notion of an award completely meaningless? See what I mean? There’s no end to this. It’s maddening. Honestly I have a good mind to just say to Kelly “thank you so much for thinking of me for this, but I can’t accept this award because it’s just making me sick with worry”. I’m sure she’d understand. Maybe. What a nightmare. Maybe if I just don’t get out of bed for the next few days then this whole problem will go away? Argghhhhhhh!!!
I think I just heard my brain making that sizzling sound, like bacon you know? Can’t be good. I’m off to take a nap.
On My Street
We had been getting this kind of weather lately:
Then on Tuesday I had an appointment I couldn’t get myself out of. So I put on my one good pair of warm RED yoga pants (I wrote all about that right here) and I went, vowing not to spend a second more out of the house than was absolutely necessary. After my appointment I decided a bit of grocery shopping couldn’t hurt and when the taxi driver dropped me off at home with all my bags, I noticed how beautiful the light was on the other side of the street. So I ran up, got my camera and decided to quickly snap a few pics of doorways and entrances right here on my tiny little street.
I hadn’t noticed just how strong the tree shadows were until I made my selection. So cool!
I love this shot, the lace of the curtain, the patterns created by the branches of the trees, the texture of the door, the way everything is crooked. I’m glad I don’t live there but it’s an awesome door.
This row of apartments sits in a beautiful building half of which is neglected. The other half obviously belongs to another landlord and is quite nicely renovated.
It looks safer and neater, but somehow not quite as interesting.
This building was on sale not even a month ago. It was snapped up in no time.
There’s a row of uninhabited apartments which are being renovated, but not much construction gets done in the winter here. It’s a little bit spooky walking past there, but still, I find a few interesting details.
And then I get back inside, I unpack my groceries and I’m struck by the light and the colour. I shoot a whole bunch more but I think this one is my favorite. 
Those clementines are to die for. I don’t know if the term “pig out” is applicable to fruit. But all I know is I’ll be buying them by the crate next time. Off to have one now.
The End.
All pics by Smiler
January 19, 2008
“It is better to be a lion for a day than a sheep all you life.” -Elizabeth Kenny
Have I ever mentioned my fascination with lions? So big, so powerful, so... lazy. Yet alert. When they’re not sleeping of course. I’d adopt one but I don’t think it would be happy hanging out in my apartment with Fritz cowering in the corner. Or God forbid should Fritz decide to try to defend his territory the way he does with most living creatures — he’d be here one minute, gone the next.
I’ll never forget this guy who used to cruise down the Main whenever it was especially busy — this is where all the hip clubs and bars are in Montreal — and in the back oh his jeep right there out in the open, was a full grown, live lion for all to gawk at. I shake my head as I remember this because even back then, when I was just a kid really, I knew enough to recognize an idiot when I saw one. It made me so angry to witness that — I used to wish the lion would just get tired of being paraded around like a circus freak and shred that sonofabitch to tiny little bits. Once I even saw he had a cub or two in there. How he got away with it, I have not the faintest clue. That just can’t be legal. But I get the impression he was involved with all kinds of illegal activity and that the lion was the least of it. Poor lion. He’s probably gone by now.
Why all this talk about lions? Because I’ve been awarded A Roar For Powerful Words by Bob-kat. This is most kind of her, especially since I’ve been giving myself a hard time for not coming up with more meaningful posts lately. But if Bob-kat thinks I’m deserving then I’ll accept it gracefully. The award is a project by The Shameless Lions Writing Circle. “A Roar For Powerful Words is the chance to scream from the mountains the good news about the powerful posts that are produced every day in the blogosphere, despite what some mainstream columnists and journalists claim. This is also a good chance to examine exactly what it is that makes writing good and powerful.”
Each recipient is instructed to “distribute [the award] to those people who have blogs we love, can’t live without, where we think the writing is good and powerful. [...] and accompany the image with three things they believe are necessary to make writing good and powerful.”
Three things I believe are necessary
to make writing good and powerful:
2. Passion. As bloggers we have carte blanche to communicate our personal point of view and express feelings through our subject matter or choice of words or style or format, we can get attached to our writing or subject matter. All this isn’t quite in keeping with what a mainstream medium would allow us to do, whereas this approach is considered good and powerful when it comes to blogging. The more passionate the better in fact. And that ties into...
3. Fearlessness. It takes a certain amount of courage to put our words and feelings out there for all to see. A large portion of bloggers have some experience with writing or have made a career out of those skills. Others are relatively new to writing and are starting to figure out all the possibilities offered in this medium. Many experiment with various styles and formats, pushing beyond their comfort zones. All traits which usually make for a damn good read.
Now while there are plenty of people with blogs I love, I can’t say that I wouldn’t be able to live without any of them (sorry guys, that would just be a sad statement to make). Here are just a few of the folks who put out blogs where I enjoy spending some quality time. And because I can’t limit myself to 5, I’ll follow Bob-kat’s lead and cheat a little bit:
1. Lee
2. Simple Blog Writer
3. Square1
4. Amuirin
5. Tiv
5a. Jodi Cleghorn
5b. Pmousse
5c. David Rochester
5d. ybonesy and QoinMonkey at Red Ravine
5e. Lori Witzel
I want to continue, but I probably should stop here or the award police will be after me. Congrats on your awards peeps!
Photos: Daniele Colombo, Flickr (top)
Gleb Garanich/REUTERS
January 18, 2008
Wired!
This guy is a genius. (See update at the bottom of the post)
These are just awesome. My uncle sent this a little while ago and I was blown away. There wasn't any attribution in the document though Update: Thanks to Lori Witzel for providing me with the name of the artist — Terry Border, and this: you can view more of his work at Bent Objects. How cool is that?
All artwork and photos by Terry Border at http://bentobjects.blogspot.com
A Haiku to Myself
Ignore those voices.
They say you are a monster,
But what do they know?
~
I look at you and
Think: radiant energy. Would
You remind me how?
~
No more either or.
You and I will find a way
As one, come what may.
Photo: Mamoru Kobayakawa
January 17, 2008
Thirteen things I could have written about [#9]
Oh well, never thought the day would come, but here it is: not feeling terribly inspired and having a hard time finding a topic to do my T13 about. And as usual I’m doing this at the last minute. Well, I was writing ideas for things to blog about here today and coming up with all kinds of reasons for why I didn’t want to use those topics I came up with. But when I looked down at my notepad, I realized I’d written 12 things... perfect! I’ll just tack one more on, and there’s my T13 for this week! (See #10 for a caption on the pic).
1. “Thirteen animals I’d like to have on my imaginary farm” — Don’t want to limit myself to domestic animals.
2. “Thirteen books that influenced me” — They’re good books, but I don’t read enough and it’ll show when I put that list together.
3. “Thirteen Foods I don’t like or can’t eat” — Some foods give me all kinds of trouble so I have to choose wisely.
4. “Things I’m bad at or have no talent for” — There are too many. That might be depressing.
5. “Things I would have liked to do as careers” — ditto.
6. “Things blogging taught me” — Didn’t excite me. Maybe for another time.
7. “Thirteen things that are good to know” — Do I even KNOW about 13 things?
8. “My thirteen best posts” — Seemed too self-promotional, obviously I decided that was no longer an issue (see “Vote for me” below)
9. “13 things I enjoy doing” — Seemed trite. And these days, it’s all about blogging, so I’d rather wait until I’m better.
10. “Thirteen things I’d like to do before I turn 40” — With only 18 months to go, I figured that would limit my options. And I don’t want to think about turning 50 yet.
11. “13 pet peeves” — Too negative.
12. “Thirteen sites that are worth sharing” — Meh, been there, done that.
13. “Thirteen things I want to blog about” — What? And give away my best ideas?
But before you go...
Vote for me! You see this nifty little badge here? If you click on it, it’ll take you to a sign-up page and ask you to sign up (unless you already have an account). It’ll only take 2 minutes, they won’t try to sell you anything or send spam your way, and it’s for a good cause! You’ll be able to vote for me and all your favorite bloggers when you see a similar badge on their blog. If you enjoy this blog, help me win this thing!
Yangtze River Blues
It’s all I can do not to cry like a baby right now. And I’m definitely behind on the news. I’ve become curious lately about some of the unusual species threatened with extinction and there were several species I wanted to feature here today, but then the case of the Yangtze River Dolphin caught my attention on the Edge site, as they are the organization’s number one priority for conservation efforts.
“According to Chinese legend, this graceful freshwater dolphin is the reincarnation of a drowned princess. It has been declared a national treasure of the highest order, but the Yangtze River is today one of the world’s busiest and most degraded waterways, and for over two decades conservationists have recommended that the species can only be protected by establishing an ex situ breeding population in an oxbow lake away from the main Yangtze channel. However, despite extensive debate by international conservation organizations, little active work has ever been carried out to protect the rapidly declining population. A recent range-wide survey was unable to find any surviving baiji left in the river.” - The EdgeThe EDGE of Existence program has a mandate to help conserve the world's most Evolutionarily Distinct and Globally Endangered (EDGE). Their plan is to interview fishermen in the Yangtze area in the hopes that this might lead them to find any surviving members of the species so that they can be relocated to a better environment. However, in a Time online article dated August 10, 2007 the dolphins have already been declared extinct:
“Farewell to the Yangtze River Dolphin” it reads: “"We can say that the animal is functionally extinct," says August Pfluger, head of the Zurich-based Baiji.org Foundation, which in December co-sponsored a six-week, 2,000-mile (3,500-km) survey of the Yangtze without finding a single remaining member of the critically endangered species. The dolphin, one of only four exclusively freshwater species in the world, may have the unhappy distinction of being the first aquatic mammal to go extinct in more than half a century — and the first large mammal driven into oblivion by environmental degradation.” (National Geographic had reported similar news eight months earlier).
It’s a crying shame (literally for some of us). The only good new is that there are other threatened species that can still be saved. I’ll be posting about some of them very soon.
January 16, 2008
The Pink Menace
My mouse is the coolest thing on the block. After seeing Sour Grapes’ cray-zey creation, I just couldn’t resist giving my mouse a little turbo charge too. How do you like my Pink Menace*? Yes, it’s a waste of time and it’s kinda silly, but sometimes, silly is good.
Wanna try it? Click here.
*Yes, it’s been though a name change.
Blogging101 - Making a Backup of Your Blog
Several people have asked me to do a post on how to make a backup of a Blogger blog. My research has show me that there are several ways of doing this, but most of them don’t give you the ability to actually restore your blog, i.e. give you the Html files to reintegrate into a new blog and/or template. Instead, they make what is referred to as a “mirror image” of the blog, giving you the appearance of your blog but none of it’s functionality.
The best solution that I’ve found so far comes from Peter at Blogger Tips and Tricks. He suggests the more laborious method of copying and pasting each post from the “Edit Html” mode of the post editor into NotePad (or a Word document), and keeping that file somewhere on your hard drive or on a backup. Should disaster strike, you’d have all your Html files to start anew. That’s what I’ll be doing with all 500-something of my posts.
If this isn’t a viable solutions for you and you’d rather use another method, here are a few links:
Backup your Blog
How to Backup your Blog
Backup your Blogger blog in 3 steps.
Blogging101 next feature: TBA (suggestions welcome).
To view other Blogging101 posts click here.
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January 15, 2008
More Alice in Wonderland
Jessie Willcox Smith, 1923
curious as to how it came to be that different artists had done their own versions of Alice in some of the earlier versions of the book since I had only ever taken notice of the famous Tenniel woodcuts we’re all familiar with. This led me to the origins of Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland and how it got published. I knew of course that there was an original Alice, and I knew that Lewis Carroll was the pen name for the Reverend Charles Lutwidge Dodgson, beyond that I’ll share with you some of the highlights of my findings.
The original story was made up by the Rev. Dodgson and told to Alice and her two sisters during a long rowing trip . Alice loved the story so much that she begged the reverend to put it down on paper, which he did several months later, finishing his first version in 1863. Dodgson then destroyed that first version and created a second one which he presented Alice Lidell as a Christmas gift in 1864. It contained 37 illustrations by Dodgson and was called “Alice’s Adventures Underground”. When a friend of Dodgson’s encouraged him to publish the story, Carroll expanded it to double the original length, and enlisted Sir John Tenniel to produce the illustrations which graced this third version. It was renamed Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland and published by Macmillan and Co. in London, in 1865. Several other editions were published by Macmillan and when the British copyright on Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland expired in 1907, other publishers jumped at the occasion. Each publisher then enlisted contemporary artists of their time in order to clearly show that these were new editions of the book.
I can only assume that those of you who have read this far appreciate Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland and will then surely enjoy looking at a number of illustrations I’ve chosen for this post, to show the wide range of interpretations according to each artist’s style and sensibilites.
Arthur Rackham, 1907 (right)
Chapter I: Down the Rabbit-Hole
Bessie Pease Gutmann, 1907“There was nothing so VERY remarkable in that;
nor did Alice think it so VERY much out of the way
to hear the Rabbit say to itself,
`Oh dear! Oh dear! I shall be late!'”
Maria Kirk - 1904“She took down a jar from one of
the shelves as she passed; it was labeled
`ORANGE MARMALADE', but to her great
disappointment it was empty. She did not
like to drop the jar for fear of killing
somebody, so managed to put it
into one of the cupboards
as she fell past it.”
Chapter II: The Pool of Tears
Bessie Pease Gutmann, 1907“Just then her head struck
against the roof of the hall:
in fact she was now more
than nine feet high”
Arthur Rackham, 1907“..there were a Duck and a Dodo,
a Lory and an Eaglet, and several other
curious creatures. Alice led the way,
and the whole party swam
to the shore.”
Chapter III: A Caucus-Race and a Long Tale
Maria Kirk, 1904“There was no `One, two, three, and away,'
but they began running when they liked, and left off
when they liked, so that it was not easy
to know when the race was over.”
Arthur Rackham, 1907“However, when they had been running
half an hour or so, and were quite dry again,
the Dodo suddenly called out `The race is over!'
and they all crowded round it, panting,
and asking, `But who has won?'”
Bessie Pease Gutmann, 1907“Alice thought the whole thing very absurd, but
they all looked so grave that she did not dare to laugh;
and, as she could not think of anything to say,
she simply bowed, and took the thimble,
looking as solemn as she could.”
Chapter IV: The Rabbit Sends in a Little Bill
Bessie Pease Gutmann, 1907“There was a large mushroom
growing near her, about the same height
as herself; and when she had looked under it,
and on both sides of it, and behind it,
it occurred to her that she might
as well look and see what was
on the top of it.”
Chapter V: Advice from a Caterpillar
Arthur Rackham, 1907“`Well, I should like to be
a LITTLE larger, sir, if you wouldn’t
mind,'said Alice: `three inches is such
a wretched height to be.'
`It is a very good
height indeed!' said the Caterpillar
angrily, rearing itself upright as it spoke
(it was exactly three inches high).”
Chapter VI: Pig and Pepper
Bessie Pease Gutmann, 1907“It was opened by
another footman in livery, with a
round face, and large eyes like a frog;
and both footmen, Alice noticed,
had powdered hair that curled
all over their heads.”
Arthur Rackham, 1907“the cook took the cauldron
of soup off the fire, and at once set
to work throwing everything within her reach
at the Duchess and the baby--the fire-irons
came first; then followed a shower
of saucepans, plates, and dishes.”
Mabel Lucie Attwell, 1910“`IF I don't take this child away with me,'
thought Alice, `they’re sure to kill it in a day or two:
wouldn’t it be murder to leave it behind?' She said
the last words out loud, and the little thing grunted
in reply (it had left off sneezing by this time).
`Don't grunt,' said Alice; `that's not at all
a proper way of expressing yourself.'”
Arthur Rackham, 1907“There could be no doubt
that it had a VERY turn-up nose,
much more like a snout than a real nose;
also its eyes were getting extremely
small for a baby: altogether
Alice did not like the look
of the thing at all.”
Sir John Tenniel, 1865“The Cat only grinned when it saw Alice.
It looked good- natured, she thought: still
it had VERY long claws and a great many
teeth, so she felt that it ought to be
treated with respect.”
Chapter VII: A Mad Tea-Party
A.E. Jackson, 1915“A Dormouse was sitting between them,
fast asleep, and the other two were
using it as a cushion, resting
their elbows on it,
and the talking
over its head.
`Very uncomfortable
for the Dormouse,' thought Alice;
`only, as it’s asleep, I suppose
it doesn't mind.'”
Gwynedd M. Hudson, 1922“The table was a large one,
but the three were all crowded
together at one corner of it:
`No room! No room!'
they cried out when they saw
Alice coming.”
Arthur Rackham, 1907“`There's PLENTY of room!'
said Alice indignantly, and she sat down
in a large arm-chair at one end
of the table.
`Have some wine,'
the March Hare said in an
encouraging tone.”
Maria Kirk - 1904“`Why is a raven like a writing-desk?'
`Come, we shall have some fun now!' thought Alice.
`I'm glad they've begun asking riddles.”
Sir John Tenniel, 1865“she looked back once or twice,
half hoping that they would call after her:
the last time she saw them, they were
trying to put the Dormouse
into the teapot.”
Chapter VIII: The Queen’s Croquet-Ground
Gwynedd M. Hudson, 1922“A large rose-tree stood
near the entrance of the garden:
the roses growing on it were white,
but there were three gardeners at it,
busily painting them red.”
A.E. Jackson, 1915“`How should I know?' said Alice,
surprised at her own courage.
`It's no business of MINE.'
The Queen turned
crimson with fury, and, after
glaring at her for a moment
like a wild beast, screamed
`Off with her head! Off--'”
Maria Kirk, 1904“`Nonsense!' said Alice,
very loudly and decidedly,
and the Queen was silent.”
Arthur Rackham, 1907“The King laid his hand
upon her arm, and timidly said
`Consider, my dear: she is
only a child!'
The Queen
turned angrily away from
him, and said to the Knave
`Turn them over!'”
Maria Kirk, 1904“but generally, just as she had
got its neck nicely straightened out,
and was going to give the hedgehog a blow
with its head, it WOULD twist itself round
and look up in her face, with such a puzzled
expression that she could not help
bursting out laughing”
Gwynedd M. Hudson, 1922“The executioner’s argument
was, that you couldn’t cut off a head
unless there was a body to cut it off from:
that he had never had to do such a thing
before, and he wasn't going to begin
at HIS time of life.”
Sir John Tenniel, 1865“The King’s argument was,
that anything that had a head
could be beheaded, and that
you weren’t to talk nonsense.”
Chapter IX: The Mock Turtle's Story
A.E. Jackson, 1915“Alice did not much like keeping
so close to her: first, because the Duchess
was VERY ugly; and secondly, because
she was exactly the right height
to rest her chin upon Alice's
shoulder, and it was
an uncomfortably
sharp chin.”
Bessie Pease Gutmann, 1907“So they sat down, and nobody spoke
for some minutes. Alice thought to herself,
`I don't see how he can EVEN finish,
if he doesn't begin.'
But she waited patiently.”
Chapter X: The Lobster Quadrille
Arthur Rackham, 1907“`You may not have lived much
under the sea--' (I haven't,' said Alice)--
`and perhaps you were never even
introduced to a lobster- -'
(Alice began to say
`I once tasted--' but checked
herself hastily, and said
`No, never')”
A.E. Jackson, 1915“So they began solemnly dancing
round and round Alice, every now and then
treading on her toes when they passed too close,
and waving their forepaws to mark the time”
Chapter XI: Who Stole the Tarts?
Gwynedd M. Hudson, 1922“The King and Queen of Hearts were seated
on their throne when they arrived, with a great crowd
assembled about them--all sorts of little birds and
beasts, as well as the whole pack of cards”
Sir John Tenniel, 1865“On this the White Rabbit
blew three blasts on the trumpet,
and then unrolled the parchment
scroll, and read as follows:--
`The Queen of Hearts,
she made some tarts,
All on a summer day:
The Knave of Hearts,
he stole those tarts,
And took them
quite away!'”
Chapter XII: Alice's Evidence
A.E. Jackson, 1915“`Oh, I BEG your pardon!' she exclaimed
in a tone of great dismay, and began picking
them up again as quickly as she could,
for the accident of the goldfish kept
running in her head, and
she had a vague sort of
idea that they must
be collected at once
and put back
into the jury-box,
or they would
die.”
Gwynedd M. Hudson, 1922“she gave a little scream,
half of fright and half of anger”
Arthur Rackham, 1907“...and tried to beat them off,
and found herself....
...lying on the bank,
with her head in the lap
of her sister, who was gently
brushing away some dead leaves
that had fluttered down
from the trees upon
her face.”
~
Because good things come in threes,
I’d like to do a similar treatment with contemporary
interpretations of Alice. Let’s see what I find...
Source:
Bedtime-Story Classic:
Alice In Wonderland
January 14, 2008
I feel the need to apologize
First of all, thanks to all those who responded to the “Pills+Cookies= One Chubby Gal” post and for all the helpful advice and kind words you sent my way. It really did me a world of good. And while I didn’t apply those suggestions today, I am planning on getting myself comfy “yoga pants” to negotiate my way around this interesting recovery from months of depression, until I get myself sorted out and back into some kind of routine and discipline. I’m sorry if I’ve upset or made anyone who is battling with serious weight problems (or just a few extra pounds) feel inadequate in the process.
All too often, I feel I don’t have the right to talk about these body issues of mine. Because to an outsider, I look perfectly average. Once, when I was looking for a therapist about a decade ago, I tried this one psychologist and when she asked what I was there for, I brought out my list, on which there was “weight issues”. She answered without a trace of humour or empathy “what are you talking about, there’s nothing wrong with you!” She looked very upset as she was saying it actually. I figured if that was her approach to therapy, I didn’t want to find out how she’d respond to my other problems and left as quickly as I could (after paying her of course). It was obvious to me that she had plenty of issues of her own including, but not limited to, body image. Not to mention being a major bitch (there said it! Ahhhh).
Nowadays I’m usually very careful about who I talk to about this. My current therapist is great. Whatever issues she has, she hides them well when she’s working. So I just pay her to listen to my various distorted perceptions, that way I don’t get anyone upset in the process. Maybe some day I’ll write a post about all this. Maybe not. I’ll just play it by ear like I always do.
January 13, 2008
A Most Interesting Quote
— or, if you'd like it put more simply — never imagine
yourself not to be otherwise than what it might appear
to others that what you were or might have been
was not otherwise than what you had been
would have appeared to them to be otherwise.”
Alice in Wonderland,
Lewis Carroll,
Chapter 9: The Mock
Turtle’s Story.
Illustration by Gwynedd M. Hudson
London: William Heinemann, 1907
In my living room
As the title says, today’s edition of Weekly Winners takes you... Around my living room! How exciting is that? Very exciting for someone I happen to know very well — so well that most of the things shown today either belonged to her at some point or were made by her fine crafty hands. But first, let’s have a peek outside because light is at a premium these days...
This shot will be filled with memories for Lee. That cabinet is a very special piece. And yes, I’m a tad behind on my dusting.
This one is by special request. Lee spent many hours reading great literature and the occasional “Paris Match” magazine while comfortably reclining in this chair.
A Carl Larsson book I had as a child. I think I’ve memorized every image in it.
The photo in the frame is of my mum and I visiting Jerusalem over 25 years ago.
One of the eight panels of the green cabinet painted by mum after Ivan Bilibin. It’s a labour of love for sure.
Two out of a large collection of Russian icons painted by... Lee of course. The icon of Mary is one of my favorites.
Fritz makes an appearance.
The Essential Rumi. Great book. Not making enough time to read though. The blue cloth is an African batik I’ve taken off it’s frame (which explains the empty frame against the wall).
No Weekly Winners would be complete without a portrait of my Fritz. But what does he see out the window?
Trees everywhere. And...
Ah yes, the sun making a brief apparition.
The End.
Pics by Smiler
January 12, 2008
Pills+Cookies= One Chubby Gal
After weeks and months of being more than happy about staying holed up at home, and having an anxiety attack every time I had to leave the house for an appointment, I actually WANTED to get out of the house today. I can’t remember the last time that happened. The sun was shining bright, the sky was at it’s bluest and the weather was clement enough to make a walk outside a pleasant experience as opposed to an Arctic expedition.
But then I remembered. None of my clothes fit me anymore. I got rid of all my “fat”* clothes almost two years ago and only kept my “skinny”* stuff to dissuade myself from gaining so much as five pounds because I’ve tended to fluctuate by about 20 lbs. over the years. Only with the medication and the lack of motivation to exercise... obviously the pounds piled up. It didn’t help that I had someone living with me for a while who had a worse sweet tooth than I did, and that my homemade chocolate chip cookies are quite exceptional. Didn’t help at all.
Up until maybe three weeks ago, I was able to slide into one of my pairs or jeans — called the “fat jeans” because they could accommodate small fluctuations — if I wriggled into them and sucked in my newly sprouted belly the right way. I was appalled about the fact that I had a roll around my middle. Now that seems like the good old days because no amount of wiggling and sucking in will do. I found out about this last Tuesday when I was getting ready for a doctor’s appointment and realized I could barely get my jeans up all the way... I tried to find something that fits, but ended up having a panic attack and had to cancel my appointment. It’s so ironic. I’m literally trapped indoors by my fat. You’d think I was the 700 lbs woman or something.
There is a shop around the corner where they sell clothes mostly to Orthodox Jewish women. Anyone who knows Orthodox Jews will tell you that they’re not exactly... how to say... sharp dressers? Or... with the times, maybe? I’m sure that shop would have something to fit my plump little self, but I swear to God, I don’t need the kind of nervous breakdown I will surely have if I have to go shopping at Sheinhart’s and then BE SEEN IN PUBLIC with that ugly crap on, stuff I wouldn’t wear to a pie throwing contest.
The only thing I have that does fit and that I could maybe wear outdoors is a pair of sweatpants. Bright RED sweatpants. Which I have never in my life worn in public. Save for one time. But that was for a long train ride and doesn’t count. Today I was too mortified at the idea of it, couldn’t get out there. I don’t want to be attracting any attention and I’m going to wear RED sweatpants to cover my chubby ass in? I guess that’s how I’ll have to show up to my doctor’s appointments because I do need to be followed. I’m thinking maybe I should do everything over the phone, start exercising now and only leave the house when I’m able to fit into my jeans again. :-(
*I use the words fat and skinny with some degree of exaggeration because I’ve never been hugely fat nor skinny. Poster: Circusmuseum.
Nanofiction: Night Travel
Night travel
They drove in the dark for hours. The kid was sprawled on the back seat. This was before seat-belts and child seats. Then they stopped. “Anything to declare?” asked the customs agent at the border. The kid started screeching when the flashlight woke him. “Yeeeap. My kid’s a major pain in the ass.”
As described in the post on fiction formats, nanofiction has an exact word count of 55 words including the title. Pic by One Foot Over The Moon Flickr
Beauty and the Brat
In her latest comment to me on my Little Kibbutznik Girl post, Lee had this to say: “Amazing the extent to which our self-perceptions can be totally out of sync with recorded evidence such as photographs.” This was in response to my saying that I felt fat from age five onward because I didn’t have the waifish frame of a ballerina. In her case, Lee had always thought she was ugly. I have evidence to quite the contrary. Doesn’t that brat look despicable though?
Little Kibbutznik Girl
The theme for this week is “skinny”
This photo was taken by my father (hi dad!) while we were living on kibbutz Eilon. The setting in and around the kibbutz were beautiful. Located in the north part of Israel, the area was much more lush than the rest of the country by comparison. I had this dog for a while though I can’t remember it’s name now. I chose this photo because from a very young age I had a perception that I was fat. I think this has to do with the fact that I had seen a classical ballet once when I as maybe five years old which is when I fell in love with the ballet, and seeing the ballerinas who were definitely of the small bone variety and extremely svelte, I became convinced that my healthy and athletic build was too voluminous. It’s funny to me now because I see that I was in fact a slender little girl and skinny in comparison to what I imagined myself to be.
I admit that during that year living on the kibbutz, self-image issues weren’t of concern so much as trying to lean Hebrew and to adapt to this small community where absolutely everything was shared — even the communal showers, which boys and girls of the same age took together. You could say I had a bit of difficulties with that. There are so many things to say about that kibbutz experience that have nothing to do with the prompt, so I think I'll stop now and post about it more fully another time. But that photo aged well. And while I don't keep very many picture frames around, much less with me in them, this one is kept in one for me to look at regularly. I’m sure my dad will be glad to know that.
January 11, 2008
Changing Weather
Thursday:
Crystal from water
These inimitable gems
One touch and they’re gone
~
Friday:
Window pane speckled
Raindrops fall from branch to branch
Muted grey beauty
All haiku may NOT be used without
permission thank you.
They’ve hijacked my haiku.
You see that haiku there? Rather nice isn’t it? I think so. It happens to be on of my favourites. I know it well — that would be because I wrote it. Someone thought they’d pay me a really nice compliment by hijacking it and putting it on a website that features exclusively stolen haiku alongside stolen photos of naked women. I have nothing against art or nudes, and I don’t think I’m a prude? I just don’t want to have my text accompanying a photo like that, without my explicit permission. So I could say: you bloody well may NOT use my text to accompany that photo, thanks for asking.
Now I know there’s this kind of theft on the internet all the time, and I wouldn’t get on my high horse about this if they hadn’t added insult to injury by adding a link to me, which is normally a very nice thing to do, but then, not only did they misspell “Smiler”, which is a minor offense, but there’s a statement on their blog that owners of photos or videos who do not want to see their content displayed on that site should send a comment or email to notify them. Not a word about writers. And best of all, no comments enabled and no email link. None. Nowhere. Angry? What makes you say that?
Quick! Flash or Nano, which is shorter*?
Did you catch that one? Because if you did, you won’t be needing the information in this post. As for me, I can never keep that kind of stuff straight. Tiv put up a great post recently which featured the word counts for various fiction formats, from the Novella to the “Dribble”, all shorter than novel length of course. I need to have this info right under my nose because I plan on putting it to good use. I know all too well how wordy I can get and I would’t want to bore my readers to tears, so mixing up formats a little is probably a good idea. I chose to illustrate this post with Anne Taintor visuals (also inspired by Tiv) because hers are the shortest stories of them all — shorter thank haiku even, though I don’t think there’s a name for that kind of fiction yet.
Here are the various categories:
Novella: 17,500 - 40,000 words. I will not be using this format on this blog, but I might play around with it as a writing exercise.
Traditional Short Story: 2,000-17,000 words
Sudden Fiction or Short-Short Story: 1000-2000 words
Flash fiction: extremely brief stories, usually between 250-1000 words. Everything from here on down is what I had in mind
Drabble: fiction with an exact word count of 100.
Nanofiction: flash fiction with an exact word count of 55, including title. This one appeals to me especially for some reason
50-word fictions (“Dribble”): just under nano.
January 10, 2008
Thirteen things I expect from my blog [#8]
here it is, my 500th post in just over eight months. I guess it’s only normal that I should be having a minor existential crisis regarding this blog and blogging at large. My wonderful friend Lee and I were discussing what our blogs mean to us the other day; the pros and cons of attracting more traffic, spending time socializing versus time writing and creating, and how we find a balance between blogging and that other stuff we call “real” life. Then Square 1 ’s meme came right on cue: “Answer the following question: “What do you expect from your blog?” Try to be as specific as possible. Avoid warm-fuzzy answers unless that really is your thing.” Perfect. Just the kind I thing I had in mind to begin with. So here are “thirteen things I expect from my blog.”
I expect my blog to...
Entertain me with content I like. Of course. It just wouldn’t make sense to be blogging for free and be putting in content solely because it corresponds to market research and statistics that are “proven effective”. That would be like doing a job. See #10 for my views on that. I want to have fun, I want to create a place where I’d want to hang out, I want to write stuff that is as fun to put together as it is to read, have visuals that appeal 100% to my sensibilities... just because I can.
Entertain others with content they might like. While #1 is an absolute must, I also like having people visit my pages and I want them to enjoy the experience so that they’ll want to come back again and again. Because what I’m interested in is having a readership composed of people who can relate to (a lot of) what I have to say and who enjoy the blog as more than a place to just have a glance at. In other words, traffic just for traffic’s sake doesn’t appeal to me. So when I choose a topic, I do think to myself “is this likely to be of interest to other people than just me?” That gives me quite a lot of leeway.
Facilitate communication. I started this blog to help me communicate with friends and family members who are scattered around the planet. This way I can easily exchange with my mother who lives in France on a daily basis in a way that’s much more all encompassing that just the phone and email can be — we can bounce ideas off each other and I’m able to show her my creations as I’m making them. My father who lives Israel is a recently reformed ludite, and has finally gotten himself a computer, so he also reads my pages now to see what I’m up to these days. I love having my parents as readers. They’re much more “out there” than I am, each in their own way, so I don’t feel self-conscious or worry about things being “appropriate” reading for them or not, they’re the most dedicated reader I could wish for, and their input is valuable to me.
Not care what mood I’m in. Your BFFITWWW (Best Friend Forever In The Whole Wide World) might be willing to put up with a lot from you, but how many of them could stand the kind of abuse I’ve put my blog through? I can show up and not say a single word for hour on end with maybe just a grunt here and there once in a while, I can say “I can’t stand looking at you anymore” and decide I’m giving it a complete overhaul without asking permission first. I can be crying one minute and laughing the next and there’s never a word of complaint. The blog just keeps doing what it’s supposed to do, no questions asked. In many ways, it’s the ideal companion for me.
Give me a sense of continuity. When I started From Smiler, with Love I had just come back from my trip to Australia, my state of health was of concern to many people, since I had barely been sleeping or eating for months, yet I still found the energy to exercise twice a day (don’t we all wish we could be like that all the time?). Following strong advisement from one of my family members, I was suddenly expected to stay at home to get some rest instead of showing up at my high-performance job, where everybody was supporting the idea that I needed some down-time. I had no idea what was in store for me or what to look forward to next. All I did know was that I was bound to run out of energy eventually, and that I had a pressing need to get in touch with my creativity. I also needed to have a readership as I’d grown used to that over the years with my work. So I set the goal of posting every day. It gave me, as still does, a sense of having stability amid all this turmoil.
Organize me! Let’s be nice and just say that I’m prone to being a “tad scattered”. But with the blog, all the organizing is done for me! Looking for an article that featured say... guinea pigs wearing black tutu’s? No problem at all! I have not one but two search windows to help find things and... guinea pigs wearing black tutu’s... here you are, enjoy.
Be a “safe” place to show my creations. I had a tonne of photographs from my trip to Oz and I wanted to be able to show them, even though more than half of them are seriously blurry (still haven’t posted those actually...). I also wanted to share my writing — something I’ve been doing for decades but had never shown to anyone save my mom before. All of us need to constructive and positive feedback when we’re creating and I think bloggers have a culture of respect and appreciation for each person’s efforts. It’s also very different from the milieu I come from professionally in the sense that things aren’t expected to meet the highest standards, and there’s plenty of margin for error and experimentation.
Be an excuse for my research and other forms of procrastination. I love doing research about just about anything, including finding the right image to accompany my texts, and it takes up a lot of my time. Most of it I fall into when I’m reading something, I fall on a name I’m curious about, and off we go link surfing. I did it before blogging, but now I can actually use it for some of my posts. There is practically no form of procrastination I can’t somehow put to good use in my blog!
Help me explore and develop my creativity. I feel both safe and a little bit apprehensive about showing my work sometimes, but that tension also makes me want to try things and be more experimental. My inner critic often prevents me from doing anything at all what with that voice that keeps telling me nothing is ever good enough and I shouldn’t bother even trying. To have people look at and show appreciation for a piece of work that I might otherwise have discarded or hid underneath piles of junk is tremendously rewarding, and motivates me to push forward and try things I wouldn’t have otherwise. Other people tend to be much less critical of our work than we are and it’s especially true on the blogosphere.
Have very few boundaries. This blog is a place where I can make interesting juxtapositions and generate new ideas from all the fascinating things I find. While that could be done with a traditional scrapbook, the advantage of the blog is that unlike the scrapbook page which only has two set dimensions, the blog is infinitely more flexible than that in terms of how much content can be fit on each page or how many pages are available. And when you consider the links, that adds all kinds of layers of information that you just couldn’t achieve with a scrapbook. That being said, I love scrapbooks and it’s something I enjoy both making and looking at.
Break the rules! My blog is an anarchist. I set the grid and then, I go wherever the inspiration takes me as far as content goes. I refuse to listen to all the noise being made about how you must stick to a format in order to attract the maximum, bla bla blah. That applies if you’re wanting to makes a business out of it, maybe. And even then I say breaking rules is a good thing. My blog is there to... (see #1) and as such I do whatever pleases me with it. Where I draw the line is I won’t show explicit sexuality or extreme violence. But I think I just broke my own rule when I posted this Happy Tree Friends video. I never would have imagined I’d ever find that kind of thing funny and some of my readers found it funny too, so it’s always good to keep an open mind.
Be flexible and full of possibilities. I have all kinds of ideas about what I’d like my blog to be like, both for me and for the readers. In that sense, what you see now is just the tip of the iceberg. I think most of my ideas are quite feasible though probably still experimental. I’d like to do innovative things with it. With the loose editorial format of this blog I have plenty of room to explore options. Because of my fertile imagination and my publishing background, I always think “Ok good job, now can we make it even better?” When there are no budgets or deadlines to worry about that question is a really fun motivator.
Provide me with a readership and a social network. Of course. Otherwise we’d all still be journaling.
I was almost forgetting about the final part! Tagging 5 other people of course! Of course there’s no need to do thirteen reasons, you choose as many as you want. I just did this many to combine it with the Thursday 13 meme. So... I’ll look for fresh tagees that I’ve never hit on before...
1. Mad from MadHaiku.
2. Bob-kat from Bobkats House.
3, Mountainmama from Careful What You Wish For.
4. Quoinmnkey and/or Ybonesy of Red Ravine.
5. Geggie, from So... What Else, What Else, What Else?
That being said, it’s a good exercise to do for any blogger.
Funky type: spell with flickr
The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!
View More Thursday Thirteen Participants
January 9, 2008
Stormy Weather
Boy did I get some bang for my money tonight! I set out to write my latest haiku inspired by the howling wind, which is blowing without respite and entering every crevasse of my drafty apartment, and then of course I wanted to find the perfect image to illustrate my imperfect haiku. “Hello Google Images? Would you happen to have a picture of a gale or a storm please? And make those pictures real good lookin’ cause they’re meant to accompany a poem you see...” and before I got to the end of my sentence, what did I get? A picture of Gale Storm of course! Now this image, while it’s gorgeous IMHO (mom: In My Humble Opinion), well it wasn’t quite what I had in mind for the haiku I’d written. But I decided she definitely should get a spot on this little blog of mine.
Now I’m not nearly as versed in Hollywood actress/singers as much as my friend OOLotH, aka Old Old Lady Of The Hills aka Naomi is, if at all, but she pretty well knows every star who ever lived and has them over for tea no doubt. So I will be sure to direct Naomi to this post in case she has a story or two to share. But having never heard of Gale Storm before myself, I looked her up in trusty ol’ Wikipedia and this is what I found: Josephine Owaissa Cottle (born April 5, 1922), better known as Gale Storm, is an American actress/singer. Her sister gave Josephine her middle name, an Indian word meaning “bluebird.” In any case she certainly was a beauty, and judging by her bio, it looks like the recognition she got was well deserved. Just another one of those serendipitous discoveries.
Fritz & Gale
Gale booms and howls
shakes tree tops and foundations.
Fritz? He’s napping, calm.
Pic: RedHeadedBrat, Flickr
Fun With Typography
with this thing. Which is probably not normal for a woman my age. But who cares? And... oh, yeah, I was almost forgetting, it’s right here if you want to try it. If you do, be sure to tell me so in a comment so I can go see what you came up with.
January 8, 2008
Just another notebook?
I’ve been meaning to do a piece about Moleskine for a while and then I saw that The Individual Voice recently posted two Moleskine-related features. I figured three time’s a charm and this way we can have a little festival of sorts going. For those who haven’t yet read Tiv’s articles, Moleskine is a brand of notebooks made in Italy which, contrary to popular belief, are not actually bound in moleskin, but in oilcloth-covered cardboard. They have a cult following and repeat buyers mention their small size, the fine archival quality paper, the elastic band to keep the notebook closed and the sewn spine that allows it to lie flat when opened as being features that have them buying the little overpriced notebooks again and again.
Among the list of illustrious writers and artists that are touted as being great fans of Moleskine are Van Gogh, Picasso, Chatwin, Hemingway, Matisse and Céline. Haven’t heard of Chatwin? That’s quite all right. He was, among other things known to be a great English travel writer, a socialite and bisexual, but his most important contribution, according to company literature is the following:“Moleskine’s most famous endorsement comes from Bruce Chatwin, who used similar notebooks constantly throughout his travels, and wrote about them glowingly. Chatwin’s original source of notebooks dried up in 1986, when his Paris stationer informed him that the last moleskin manufacturer, a small family-run firm of Tours, had discontinued production in 1986 after the death of the owner. The modern Moleskine is fashioned after Chatwin’s descriptions of the notebooks he used and is not a direct descendant.”
I happen to love notebooks and own quite a collection of them, and I might have taken a liking to these indirect Moleskine descendants, only one day, a magazine editor I was working with insisted they were a “must” for the Christmas gift section. That turned me off them, just like that. I remember with some embarrassment my Filofax days (remember those?) and how I would try to insert the words “My Filofax” in every conversation. And a good thing those days are over. That being said, if anyone was thinking of sending a Moleskine my way, I’ll certainly find a good use for it. :-)
The reason I’d been wanting to talk about these notebooks to begin with is because of this wonderful website I found called the Moleskine Project. The idea of the site is to encourage artists “good and not so good” to show and promote their work. Everyone and anyone is encouraged to participate by submitting doodles and get a chance to be featured as the artist of the day. Of course the idea of the project is to promote Moleskine, so they encourage everyone to send stuff drawn on that brand of notebooks, but if you look for it, you’ll find these magical words: “Actually, you can also doodle it in some other kind of notebook. Reason? Well, some artists can’t afford themselves a real Moleskine.” Of course you can just go have a look too. You might be inspired to do your own...
Doodles by:
Marty Harris
Mattias Adolfsson
Lapin
January 7, 2008
The rain made me do it
Sometimes I write haiku almost like a Dada exercise. I focus first on the rhythm and then words come to me and I don’t try to judge whether they’re good or bad, I just write them down. Then sometimes I take the time to let the words sit there and I’ll go back and edit and let it sit again then edit again and let it sit again, and so on, but sometimes the thrill of it is just to see how quickly I can throw together something that’s just decent enough to post without being too embarrassing, which is a good way to help cure oneself of a stubborn streak of perfectionism. This exercise here was of the latter kind, also I was hurrying as I wanted to write when the downpour was it’s heaviest. But having re-read these stanzas several times now, they’re bothering me, they’re not what I had set out to convey. So I’m allowing myself to edit them post-publication and you all get to see the process.
Now isn’t that exciting?!? :-D
Rain taps heavy up
on my roof — tap tap tap tap nature’s drum.
tap tap —
Rain taps heavily
up on my roof — joyous sound.
Listen: nature’s drum.
~
Wet smell of earth, trees, sitting on
small animals,
that old country porch
Sitting on that old
country porch taking in those
wet green earthy smells
~
Raindrop staccato
evokes memories not yet
even known in dreams
[this one’s next]
The one that just won’t go away.
Some of us like to think about the one(s) that got away. I’m not sure what that entails exactly because I’ve never pined for anyone after the relationship was over, at least not on a conscious level. But I imagine thinking about The One that Got Away must involve imaginings of a life more fulfilling, happier and more filled with passion and wonder. I suppose the eternal question of “should I have made the choice I made or should I have worked at it harder” must often come up. I think that way too sometimes, but it’s not about men. I seem to get more passionate about countries and places.
Has it ever happened to you that you’ve had a dream that wasn’t particularly pleasant and it just wouldn’t go away? I’m not talking about a nightmare of the sort that can leave you traumatized for days or weeks, I mean a dream just annoying enough that it puts you on edge, so you feel restless without knowing why, so you keep going back to the dream, trying to figure out what the hell it was all about as it fades away further and further from you memory? I have. I had one of those a couple of nights ago. And it’s driving me nuts.
The last “long-term” relationship I had was over ten years ago. I’d have to say that it was a difficult relationship, and in hindsight, both of us would probably have been better off without it, though of course life doesn’t work that way, especially if you’re like me, thinking that everything happens for a reason and if it doesn’t then at least there’s a lesson to be drawn from each experience, and failing that even there’s for sure a story to tell.
All I know is that I spent the better part of three years feeling inadequate in every possible way. Which for a long time was my reality whether I was in a relationship of not, but when I wasn’t busy feeling inadequate with him, then I would torture myself by questioning my motives for staying in that relationship. Man, it was a tough one. It was one of those love at first sight romances and I thought he was my prince charming but instead of a white horse he had a Jaguar E-type. It all happened very fast, as those things do.
He happened to have a lot of money from his thriving business and offered to support me while I figured out what I wanted to do with my life. I had been working in advertising and I couldn’t work under that kind of pressure anymore. What I did want, just before meeting him, was to move to Paris and find work there. So he made a proposal to me. I could go to Paris for four months, all expenses paid and try to figure out what kind of work I could do there, and he would come visit me every other week. The kind of offer you only get once in a lifetime. I had just turned 26 and I was desperately in love — the kind of love I could never imagine feeling for anyone again, which is a very good thing. So I said no. I didn’t want to be separated from him for two weeks at a time. I wince at the thought of it, still. I was so insecure that for reasons completely unfounded and with ample proof of the contrary, I was sure I wouldn’t manage out there by myself. No sense in dwelling on that too much.
What ensued was three years of lots of traveling and also a lot of conflicted feelings about living at his expense. I did start my own business and was in a position to participate in some expenses, but he wouldn’t have it and besides it didn’t make sense considering the enormous disparity between our respective revenues. Through all that we made our “5-year plan” together and figured out when we’d get married and have kids which was never going to happen. Eventually we broke up. I went away on a trip to get a change of scenery and mend my deeply wounded sense of self and stayed overseas for five months, then came back and started rebuilding my life. He’d been thoughtful and had provided enough resources for me to make a smooth transition between the lifestyle we had together and the one I could afford on my own.
I didn’t miss him. I didn’t have doubts about whether or not we had made the right decision. I did kick myself about not going to Paris when he had offered to finance it, but I also knew that if I really want to I could do it by myself. Finally I had the opportunity to kick a longstanding pot habit, which wasn’t going to happen while I was with him since he was a chronic toker to an extent that I had never in my life seen before or since. I started taking care of myself. And then... a lot of things happened in the past ten years.
He’s moved on, gotten married and had a couple of kids. I’ve been a serial monogamist and haven’t found someone I feel I want to be with in the long term. I don’t have anything to worry about as far as my biological clock is concerned since I’m not exactly keen on having my own children and I figure if I wake up one day and realize that I’m ready for that, then I’ll adopt.
Every once in a while he shows up in my dreams. It’s always an unpleasant experience. In those dreams I always feel inadequate and he’s being a macho jerk and basically the biggest a**hole ever known. Yet somehow I always try to keep the peace, even if he’s provoking me and being disrespectful of my needs and boundaries. There are often big houses that we’re looking at. Almost always cars and different vehicles with me trapped inside with him. He likes driving and was an aggressive driver for a long time. And then... he always says something to bring home the point that he’s got to be somewhere else right now but he just wanted to come by to see that everything is alright. But I tell him everything is NOT alright, he doesn’t do anything about it.
After those dreams, I just feel like a ball of nerves and negative energy. Then I always feel like I need to let it go because I’m the one creating these dreams in the first place. And then I wonder what it is that I haven't resolved about that relationship yet that my subconscious is compelled to keep me reminding me about it. I do mourn what I lost which is a certain innocence and naivete, a sense of wonder and romance. When I was with him, for the first time in my life I had the resources put at my disposable to do basically anything I wanted to but that was so daunting that I couldn’t enjoy it, didn’t allow myself to dream after a while. I felt that it was costing me too much emotionally and spiritually. Yet once it was taken away I felt more destitute than ever.
I just want it all to go away. I want that wound to finally be healed.
January 6, 2008
Word Picture Sunday
This meme is brought to you courtesy of aka_Monty.
Have your blogroll at the ready and grab a thesaurus—
it's time for WORD PICTURE SUNDAY!
The rules are quite simple:
1. Pick a name from your blogroll
2. Think of a single word that you feel
describes that person
3. Open an IMAGE SEARCH engine, type
in the word, and find the picture that fits
[you can also use one from your personal
collection].
4. Post a link to the person’s blog,
the word, and the picture.
This week I picked:
Simple Blog Writer from Simple Words I Understand. I first met Simple Blog Writer on the NaBloPoMo forum. I found her avatar intriguing and I decided right then that I liked her based on that (so superficial I know) incidentally this avatar doesn’t show her face, only a foot in a sneaker, and it’s not even her foot at that. She was quite active on the forum and she seemed interesting to me. When I went to see her blog I was immediately taken by the quality of her writing. I found it fresh and unaffected, and her short stories made me laugh thanks to her incredible attention to detail, which makes for some truly exceptional (and comical) character descriptions. I hung out at her blog like a groupie for a while. Now we enjoy deriving inspiration from each other’s work. The word I chose to describe Simple Blog Writer is:
What’s Cooking?
This is the part of the cup I like best. “Can't Talk; Noveling.” I can’t even talk when I’m writing an email... can you imagine a novel? It's a nice souvenir and it helps support the organization. I ordered a really cool poster too which I need to get framed. Next...
Another cup?! Yes another cup. A reader asked if she could see the cup I use every day. Also the NaNo cup is the new kid on the block. But this one’s been around for a number of years and was my favorite. There’s nothing special about it, but I like the shape and the fact that it’s white so I can make sure that there are no huge monsters lurking in my tea, about to pounce and attack me. I’m just being silly. Besides...
I can always count on Fritz to protect me from the tea monsters. He’s on the lookout right now, do you see that? What an awesome guard cat. Good boy Fritz, good boy.
Tea monsters are sure to take fright when they see these mighty paws just before they get stomped to death. But seriously, I just love his tiny little feet. They’ve barely changed since he was a kitten. So cute.
I’m eating a lot of apples these days. It’s also something I like to photograph in all sorts of ways. It’s a good photo exercise. These are Galas. Tasty. Interesting coloring too.
And this dear reader is an exclusive “behind the scenes.” I’m sure you were dying to see how an amateur photographer organizes her shots. Well now the secret’s out. See the box of Shreddies? I still haven’t tired of them in the least.
All of the sudden, the sun decided to make a last appearance for the day. I grabbed one of the first books I could get my hand on — yet another of my beautiful yet unused cookbooks. But then that gave me an idea...
I love this shot. Brown eggs are so photogenic. And these had an interesting texture to them too.
Now this cookbook, I actually have used a few times, quite successfully I might add. Donna Hay is Australian, and very well known there but food photographers around the world know her too because she created a new, simpler way or presenting food. I’m pals with one of her stylists. Just one degree of separation from a food superstar!
Oh yes, back to Fritz, sitting on his favorite pile of books. I don’t have the heart to move them now, he seems to enjoy his perch so much. That’s the Medicine Card book he’s guarding there. I wonder if that means anything?
All pics by Smiler
January 5, 2008
Delicious Memories
The theme for this week’s Photo Hunt is: Delicious
We have a complicated relationship, food and I. While I take great pleasure in food that is well prepared, fresh and flavorful, I’ve gone through extended periods in my life where I just grabbed whatever was simplest to prepare. For day-to-day living, I’d be more than happy if I didn’t have to eat at all. In fact, if they came up with a pill that took care of all your nutritional needs and hunger pangs, I’d want to use it. And yet, I was raised in a household where food was of great importance, well prepared and every meal was absolutely delicious. Go figure.
I have in my unfinished drafts a post I started about my complicated relationship with food, therefore, I won’t go into too much detail about that here today except to say that being forced to interact three or more times per day with something I have so many mixed feelings about doesn’t help the relationship. If we were a couple, food and I, we’d have gone on a trial separation to work out our problems individually before getting back together again.
I always maintain that I’m not much of a cook, which is apparently quite untrue. But then, I compare everything I make to my mother’s cooking. Her and her husband absolutely adore food and they treat it with reverence and much love. They plan certain meals days, months, and sometimes a whole year in advance with outstanding results. My mother has no need for cookbooks, it’s always a pinch of this and a dash of that. As for me, I’m much happier to have some guidance.
I have some terrific cookbooks, and if I were to suddenly decide to try a new recipe every single day, I’d have enough menu options for the next ten years, at least. This Italian one has great food photographs, though I couldn’t say if it’s any good as a cookbook. It was given to me by a lady whom I like very much on my last trip to England, so if anything, it’s a good souvenir. The times I have cooked with some regularity have always been when I had a significant other in my life, otherwise, it’s too much work and I just don’t see the point. I’m barely interested in “real” food as it is.
The Champagne bottle reminds me of one of the tastiest and zaniest meals I had in one of the city’s best restaurants called Le Club Chasse et Pêche. It was on Christmas day last year. The host was celebrating her birthday, and daddy dearest, apparently a well known English boxer, was paying for it, which is a good thing all things considered. The Bruno Paillard Rosé Champagne just kept coming, one bottle after another — we were practically swimming in it. That meal deserves it’s own post, given the characters I was with. But what delectable food, Oh my. My mom would agree about that, I know it for sure. I’m just surprised I can remember any of it, given how much Champagne we drank. I was so drunk... dressed to the nines yet absolutely pissed... I just walked out of the restaurant saying good night with a beautiful smile while holding that empty bottle in my hand. I wonder if they noticed? It’s gone now, so I’m glad I have a souvenir along with those delicious memories.
Pic by Smiler
Have you joined Blog 365?
If you’ve joined Blog 365 and you’re looking for different options of badges, you’ve come to the right place! You might want to bookmark this page — I’ll be adding new designs whenever inspiration strikes. Some Link Love would be greatly appreciated and it seems like a fair trade for these designer badges. You could mention me or my blog on a post, or include me on your blogroll... it’s up to you. Just seems like a fair exchange. Also, if you leave a comment behind I can go and visit your blog and leave you a comment too! :-)
For this first “Graphic” series, I’ve designed one logo with white or black background - and a choice of three different captions: a) “Sleep is overrated” b) “Can’t talk; blogging” c) “I’m a real trouper”
Justs copy the corresponding code for the button
you want and paste it into an HTML window.
White background:
Black background:
White background:
Black background:
White background:
Black background:
Vintage series
My personal favorite series and the one which
will continue growing. I’ve added a badge for
the guys and there are more to come.
New!
New!
New! The “Quiet” series
By request, a badge that won’t call attention to itself for
those with restrained templates. I’ll do a couple of
variations if there’s interest, but otherwise no. I didn’t have
much fun working on it (and it shows).
More to come...
January 4, 2008
Flowers Require Some Tending To
Say, but don’t know how to tell —
Throat feels constricted.
~
Too many things to
Show, and never enough time,
Mind whirs in circles.
~
Blessed with so many
friends, I feel so privileged
Yet guilt assails me.
~
Flowers require some
Tending to, or they wither
And are gone too soon.
~
Time whizzing us by
I have no notion of it.
Has it been stolen?
~
Thirst for knowledge and
Beauty can never be quenched:
A quest with no end.
~
While I’m swept away
Chasing those elusive dreams
Is a thought enough?
~
Is it sufficient
To know you’re here in my heart?
Or is that too little?
Some things really do change... (and a good thing too).
Lee aka my mum, reminded me yesterday of the brand of cigarettes she used to smoke back when I was a wee little thing. She had a three pack a day habit back then (!) which... I find hard to fathom. I’ve smoked a little bit in my life too — mostly as a teenager and young adult — but I’d inevitably get sick from the cigarettes and have to quit. For the most part, I’ve hated cigarettes and smoking with a passion and I wouldn’t be surprised if it was somehow linked to the fact that my mum smoked so much and I probably intuitively knew that they were bad. In any case, she seems to agree with me that my allergy to them (I get a throat-ache just thinking about them, no joke!) could also be due to the cloud of smoke that was dominant in every home and public space back then and which no doubt did a number on our tiny lungs. It’s interesting that I can remember all sorts of things from my early years, but not that thick blue cloud of smoke produced by her brand of cigarettes.
In any case, perhaps partially inspired by Lee’s posting, I put up that magazine ad which is just below this posting, and when she saw it, Jientje from Heaven in Belgium mentioned that there used to be a Flinstones tv ad for cigarettes, and this I just had to see with my own eyes. But there you have it, graciously provided by YouTube. Unbelievable. The lesson I’m getting from this story is that things DO change, for better or for worse, and sometimes drastically so, but you just have to be patient. Big breath in, big breath out, and we just keep marching along.
Oh really?
Can you actually read that? It says: “Blow in her face and she’ll follow you anywhere.” How charming. More like, blow smoke in my face and I’ll smack you a good one. If I had been around back then I would probably have been a feminist, just to teach those sexist advertising executives a little bit of respect. It’s just surreal!
“For people going places”
I’m not sure why, but this ad had me in stitches a few minutes ago. I can just hear a tv announcer saying “Old Crow: for people going places” with that really smooth presenter’s voice you know? Oh dear oh dear what a laugh. Whatever it takes, I’ll sure take that over tears any day.
“Oooold Crowww: for people going placesssss”.
January 3, 2008
Thirteen Things That Intrigue Me About India [#7]
Claude Renault, a talented photographer from Brittany (France), considers India to be his second home. He’s traveled to India close to a dozen times and just keeps wanting to go back for more. I’ve featured Claude’s work here before, namely for my post about “A Photo a Day from Planet Earth”, where his work is shown regularly, and more recently for my last TT post. Claude has a series of blogs showcasing his hundreds of travel pictures, so I asked him if I could show some here, which wasn’t a problem. What was difficult with so many great photos to choose from, was narrowing down my selections. So since it’s Thursday Thirteen, I’m going with Thirteen Things That Intrigue Me About India.
Beautiful & Serene Settings
Mind Boggling-Architecture
Great Photo Opportunities
The Food
The Vibrant Colors
Breathtaking Views
Spirituality & Religion
Adorable Ragamuffins
Interesting Street Scenes
Generosity
Soulfulness
True Beauty
Photos: Claude Renaud
Text: adapted from Claude’s captions
The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!
View More Thursday Thirteen Participants
“Last Stop in Brooklyn”
Tears streaming down my face.
They’re collecting is silent little pools
somewhere on my neck and the feeling
is mostly wet. It’s an icky wet. Damp.
I don’t cry anymore normally. I spent
months and months just crying, I just
couldn’t stop. And then one day, maybe
I ran out of tears because I just realized
that I wasn’t crying anymore
Just like that, it stopped.
But now... this isn’t funny, because these tears
really hurt, it’s like they’re being wrenched out
of my body and I can hardly breathe anymore
I want this this to stop. I can barely see the screen
anymore, its all blurry, luckily my typing is half
decent so I don’t really have to look but still, would
be helpful. A lot of things would be helpful.
When will these tears stop?
You know, a person goes around for the better
part of their life... a person like me, say or maybe
it is actually me I’m talking about, I don’t know,
I'll only know once I’m done writing it, but a
person like me goes around looking for love....
and “Looking For Love” is that person’s
sole mission in life, and that person can’t stop.
She can’t stop looking because she’s not complete
otherwise, see? And of course she finds it.
Love lurks in every corner but with the wrong
motivation, you can be sure it’s going to
wring everything you have out of you
And you’ll keep praying and praying for
True Love to come around praying non-stop
as a matter of fact. So much so that people
might start making fun of said person
because really, when is she just gonna stop
looking? It’s gotta stop at some point, right?
Surely a person can do better things with
her life than keeping on looking.
And you don’t even have to hear people
talking because you have that inner voice
telling you “what are you doing?” “You know
you can’t go looking for it” “You know it’s just going
to pull away if you chase after it” And on
and on that voice goes while another
is plaintively chanting “Romeo, Oh Romeo...
Where Art Thou Romeo” and just to make
that voice stop already, you say Ok, let’s
try and find your Romeo. If you could
just shut up with the Romeo stuff already
we just might find him but for all you
know he might be called Donald Duck
so you have to keep your options open
So stop with that Romeo crap.
—And then what happens?
How do I know what happens, you were
supposed to read the script, haven’t you read
the script? It always goes according to script!
You were supposed to read the goddamned
script!!! All righ all right, just stop it with the
screaming, everybody calm down... and the
script says: our heroine suffers one terrible
heartbreak after another. Poor thing. So there’s
heartbreak number one, and then...
heartbreak number two, and then...
heartbreak number three and then...
heartbreak number... ok ok enough with that
already just stop it will ya, they’re getting the
picture. So now what?
Well now our heroine has a heart that’s
shattered a million different ways and this
is where the dramatic music is supposed to
come in you know, like a string orchestra or
something like that and she’s just desperate
obviously. And then I don’t know, we could
have her... in the subway, about to jump—
too grimy, not the subway what else? Well
she could be on the Brooklyn Bridge and—
Brooklyn Bridge! Are you kidding me?
Can you get any more cliché than that?
Gimme a break just stop it with this crap
already. What does it say on the fucking
script? What does she do? WHAT DOES
SHE DO?!? All right all right, stop with the
screaming already... and calm down cause....
I think we’re missing a page. Yep. Wouldj’a
look at that, we’re missing a page.
—So now what? Now we make it up that’s
what. Ok, let’s stop here for a minute and collect
ourselves... so far it’s all been your typical
vaguely pathetic heroine looking for love in
all the wrong places... I KNOW! I got it!
What What? What is it? There’s one place
she hasn’t looked yet, there’s still hope!
Where where? Down in the gutter. What?
Are you joking, but that’s crazy and you
just said that... I know what I said, but
this is the way it’s gotta go cause I say so,
got it? She finds him in the gutter as she’s
making her way to the Brooklyn Bridge.
But you said the Brooklyn Bridge was...
I know what I said, but this isn’t the same.
That’s how she meets our man. He just
happens to be there one day, he’s not
actually a bum he’s just some actor who’s
been having some bad luck and he’s been
hittin’ the bottle a little too hard, and so
one day he forgets how to get home, no big
deal, I do that that all the time. And then?
Well and then they lived happily ever after,
what else? But you gotta be joking—
I tell ya this is where the story ends.
Just like that? Just like that. (Everything
stops. Everybody’s quiet. You can hear someone
having a piss in the toilet.)
—I know. This is brilliant. I’ve got it.
I’ve never seen that one before, now tell
me if you have... but I think it might
be new and original... Ok Ok stop
talking here and just listen huh:
Our heroine forgets how to love.
What? Like I just said, she forgets
how to love. Or I should say, she
can’t anymore because the doctors
find that her heart’s been broken
in so many places that they can’t
put her together again. —and then?
And then nothing, she just keeps walking,
all alone. She walks over the Brooklyn
Bridge, gets herself home, orders Chinese food
and watches tv. End of story.
—You gotta be kidding me. Why?
Come on, tell me you’re pulling my
leg! This can’t be it, stop it already
what was your idea, really? That was
it, I just told you. People will be walking
out of the theater! Are you crazy? We
can’t finish the movie like that! Who
says? The movie's finished already.
Credits are rolling who cares if people
walk out. Well you got a point there.
Still there’s gotta be... something. I think
I’d rather she go for the subway jump
after all. But then we can have someone
rescue her at the last second and that’s
our guy. And then? And then nothing
he takes her to her stop, end of story.
—You’re a real jerk you know that?
Why do you say that? I haven’t done
anything. Where's your heart! This
is supposed to be a modern romance
for Christ’s sake so where’s the romance?
That’s just the point. Didn’t you hear?
Romance is dead. May as well be anyway.
Doesn’t sell anymore. I think we should
turn this thing into a horror movie
don’t you?
...
—Great idea, great idea, I suggest
we change the title to “Last Stop in
Brooklyn: She Lures Them in and
Eats Their Heart Out.” Brilliant.
Done. Good job. Good stuff.
you think so ’cause that wasn’t
easy. Working without a script
is... tough work man. Tough work.
And now we know why so many horror movies get made.
Epilogue
Perhaps I should mention that what prompted all this drama and the ensuing stream of consciousness nonsense that I wrote was an email exchange with the ex. He only had the nicest, most kind and loving things to say to me, with a non-verbalized yet clear expectation that I’d say something along the lines of “Let’s get back together”. But sometimes it hurts just as much to hear someone say they love you when you’re not able to reciprocate the love as they’d want it, as it is to be told you’re not loved. Hurts just the same. In different sections of the heart maybe, but the pain is just as real.
January 2, 2008
Blogging101 - Basic HTML Code Explained
I am by no means an HTML expert. Just six months ago I didn’t have the foggiest notion of how to indicate italic and bold on my blog. My outdated browser didn’t give me the rich text options when I was composing posts, and HTLM was my only option if I wanted any styling on my fonts, so I started with a few basics like the ones shown here. These simple tags I’ll be showing you are a great way to get acquainted with HTML, which will you’ll find handy to add real functionality and fun features to your blog — Expandable Post Summaries are a good example. The good news is you don’t have to memorize anything and can keep referring to examples. If you’re still wondering what HTML is, you may want to read Acronyms Explained.
If you’re already familiar with HTML and you have other BASIC tags to suggest, by all means do send them and I’ll add them to this post. Feel free to bookmark this page as a reference and come back to it occasionally to see what new additions there might be here.
First things first: this “< >” indicates that you’re opening a tag, and this “</>” indicates that you are closing it. Also here are no spaces between the characters as a general rule (with a few exceptions of course).
Tags to modify text: they’re used to alter one word, or a whole post depending on where you place the opening and closing tags. Tags can be combined to form long strings of code. It doesn’t matter what order you place them in but be sure to always have a matching closing tag where you want the styling to end.
Bold: <b>TEXT</b> or <strong>TEXT</strong>
Italic: <i>TEXT</i> or <em>TEXT</em>
Big: <big>TEXT</big>
Small: <small>TEXT</small>
Underline: <u>TEXT</u>Strikeout: <strike>TEXT</strike> or <S>TEXT</S> or <del>TEXT</del>
Subscriptexample <sub>TEXT</sub>
Superscriptexample <sup>TEXT</sup>
My friend square1
reminded me of the
following for hanging
indentations:†
<blockquote>Quote here</blockquote>
Header tags: These are good to have different levels of reading on your blog. They can be combined with any of the tags above too. Do note that you can’t place any text directly below them. If you want to have more flexibility, you can do that by using regular body type and using the various tags to give it a different look.
Header 1:
<h1>TEXT</h1>Header 2:
<h2>TEXT</h2>Header 3:
<h3>TEXT</h3>Header 4:
<h4>TEXT</h4>Header 5:
<h5>TEXT</h5>Link tag One advantages of placing your own link tags in the HTML mode is you can choose whether your reader’s browser opens a new page for readers or not. If you’re trying to keep your reader on your page as long as possible, it might be good to make sure your page doesn’t get replaced, as they do with the “automatic” method. Link tags can be combined with any of the tags above too, which will affect only the type that is visible and won’t interfere with other functions.
Text link <a href="http://www.websitehere">TEXT</a>
or <a href="http://www.websitehere" target="_blank">TEXT</a>
to make it open in a new window.
Image link:
<a href="your url here"><img src="image link here"></a>
or <a href="http://www.websitehere" target="_blank">TEXT</a>
to make it open in a new window.
Posting an image from a host**
<img src="http://www.blogger.com/LinkOfYourImageSource">
a template manipulation and will be covered further on.
* See How to make text links
**We’ll cover this topic in another tutorial.
Blogging101 next feature: Making a template back-up.
To view other Blogging101 posts click here.
If you’ve enjoyed this tutorial and you find it helpful, please consider adding me as a link in your blog if you haven’t done so already.