The old woman and the toad

My boyfriend and I were discussing online dating and while I was certain I had canceled any postings on such sites many moons ago, it occured to me that I may have forgotten one out there. Sure enough, I found one on "Reciprodate". Shortly after creating that account, I had rendered it inactive because I never could find a way to cancel it (those buggers always do make it so difficult). So since they won't let me leave altogether, I decided to have myself a bit of fun with their questionnaire instead.





Name: Pinkie
Age: 86
Education: No School
Location: McGehee, Arkansas
Occupation: Retired
Height: 7 feet 11 inches
Income: $1
Body Type: Gargantuan
Smoker: Smoke Regularly/Daily
Hair: None
Drinker: Lush/Alcoholic
Eyes: Dark blue
Status: Unavailable
Religion: I'll tell you later
Have Children: I'll tell you later
Ethnicity: Asian, Native American, Black/African descent, Islander, White/Caucasian, East Indian, Latino/Hispanic, Middle Eastern
Want Children: Yes
Languages: Chinese, Arabic, Japanese, Korean, Swahili, Dutch, Malay, Swedish, Tagalog, Finnish, Pidgen, Vietnamese, Wookie, Hindi, Sanskrit

favorite saying: don't judge me, I won't judge you.
I'm most happy when: the sky is green
I'm least happy when: the grass is pink
A character from a book, a movie, or television that I can really relate to is: humpty dumpty
If I found a $100 bill on the street: I would eat it
Before I die, I'd really like to: see pigs fly (ideally they'd be wearing tutus too)
The first thing people usually notice about me is: the giant mole on my forehead, but I hide it under my pink hat
One thing that people don't notice right away about me is: my hump
My favorite article of clothing is: my pink hat
The most important thing in my life right now is: making time to pick my nose
The most important quality I look for in someone is: that he's not a heroin addict
The best way to make me smile is: dig a hole in the ground and bury yourself in it
The last album/song that I bought/downloaded was: I don't do that, music is the devil's work
The worst feeling in the world is: when my dog catches fleas and spreads them on my bed
One of my biggest pet peeves is: people
The strangest or most embarrassing thing that has happened to me is: being caught licking the sidewalk
A great way for me to spend a weekend would be: jumping out of a moving train
My favorite smells are: toad saliva and cat urine
If I only had time to save one thing from my burning home (besides people), it would be: my pet toad and the litter box
My favorite line from a movie: "The End"
This inkblot looks like a picture of: use your own damn imagination!

"The old woman and the toad" painting by: Judy Somerville

The old woman and the toad

http://fromsmilerwithlove.blogspot.com/2007/09/huh.html